Making Friends In College is
More Challenging Than I Thought
Before I started college I was always told that I was going to make so many new friends. But now in week three of my first semester I have found that, that is not really the case. Making friends in college was more difficult than I thought. I have been enjoying my classes and learning but I struggle to form those friend connections instead of just peer connections. I am typically the one that starts the conversation by complimenting the person shirt or jewelry but I struggle to make that next step as they continue walking after saying thank you. I get this rush of adrenaline knowing I hopefully made a small connection with that person, even though it will often end there.
I have been considering going to a connection cafe or an event that takes place by the college, but I feel that it won’t draw the crowd that I am more likely to become friends with. Then again I could be entirely wrong. Tomorrow, my college is holding their annual Powwows and I am hoping to try and push myself out of my comfort zone and make some new connections. Loneliness can be a scary and isolating thing, and sometimes it feels like it’s something that I should just accept and stick with the people I have in my life.
Back in high school it was so simple to make friends, you had class together and you would frequently see that person, because you shared the same break times. Presently, in college everyone’s schedule is vastly different so meeting up with people naturally is 1000 times harder. I don’t think I realized how lucky I was in high school until it was done and now all my people are off doing their own things in different cities.
It can be bittersweet especially when staying in your hometown where the school you went for grade 10 to 12 is just a 5 minute walk away. It was a place I considered home where I could count on seeing someone I knew at every turn in the school despite there being three thousand students.
Currently, with the spare time I have is spent on studying for my classes, working or resting. With sometime here and there that is spent with my boyfriend or a couple friends that I do have from high school.
I don’t want this to just be me moaning and groaning about the fact that I have no friends in college. I am grateful to have two of my cousins going to the same college as me, we will spend time studying together and one of them just recently got a job at the same Starbucks as me!!
My plan to make friends during college is to; firstly, get a gym pass to my colleges gym. I was at first reluctant on this idea, but my long distance friend Jette brought up that it was a fantastic idea and an amazing third space to go and meet people, despite it being a place of vulnerability. Secondly, is thru going to events and to try and make those connections. But if those fail I will try not to be hard on myself and to enjoy the little moments of success. My last plan, is to join a local pottery studio or crochet club and just to enjoy myself doing the things I love creatively while surrounded with people who enjoy similar things.
Hey making friends is hard but it is important to just keep pushing and putting yourself out there 🙂
Oh, I sure can relate to this! When I was in university at UVic many, many years ago, I was so busy in study, I almost forgot about my physical and mental health.
Eventually, I figured out that if I mapped out a mile long walk from my study hall and tried to convince someone else in the carrals to join me, I’d achieve both goals.
Study, physical activity, a person (potential new friends) to walk with, back to study. Physical and mental activity.
Also, these days, I’d probably going my local naturalist club and go to some of their walls, hikes, etc. https://okanagannature.org/
Great blog. Makes me think, which is a good thing.
I know right, it can be so hard to juggle studying and health. I learnt that the hard way in high school but I have definitely gotten better at it know. I tend to take a walk around my college too, especially in between classes. With the weather getting colder I find it less and less enticing to go outside for a stroll 😛
Hey! I love your very descriptive word choices! The idea of joining the gym and joining a pottery club is awesome! Doing the things that give you happiness, will attract the same .
When I finished school I joined floor hockey and ice hockey groups that I enjoyed doing when I was growing up. After playing hockey, some of us went out to have pizza and drink beer so I became friends with a lot of other players.
Hope this helps my dear! Keep up the good work!
Yeah I just recently joined a pottery class and the people there are amazing, finding community can be so hard nowadays with technology getting in the way. I think I will look into more clubs or groups like a crochet club.